Irreplaceable ?

Hi Bon Jovi ....this one's for the broken hearted .... for Tommy and Gina who never realized they had not even started ..... for having lost something before all your senses could perceive what you had .... ask a couple who can never concieve a child...... ask a repentant sinner what virtue meant ...... ask a crippled what limbs meant .... ask someone who was a one year old child when he lost his mother ..... he was pacified by someone loving or someone unloving ...... his knowledge made him what he is either by books or by the lack of it ..... in all ... his needs were met ..... as he grew up to be a man ... and he grew up fine ... just like all of us ... with the good balancing the bad in him ... but his soul knows what he missed ... it still yearns for it somewhere ... he somehow wants every second of his life to make up for all the seconds of his life that were spent without her and yet he does not know what he wants or what is it that will replace - that he craved once ,twice or many more times and was never met .... he keeps looking in ways for satisfying his soul.... and he knows there is no way to replace what is lost .... and yet he hopes beyond hope to appease his past hunger.

All of us have lost something knowingly and more so unknowingly ..... we crave for the unseen and unfelt ... the need for that which is lost : only recognized at our very subconscious selves....hence what our hopes are and what our hunger is ..... defines not what we want to Be .. it is what we were and what we want back in order to be Complete . It is what nature owes us or what we owe nature , every single one of us . So that we can be one with ourselves,with humanity and reconcile with God .


I think I may have stumbled upon a secret that I can share ..... If we live for all around us ....if we look at the bigger picture and not just focus on ourselves ...yes we do get it back and the hopes turn into a reality and the hunger is satiated in some form or the other.


Just share a smile if that is all you can share :)


Keep The Faith

Break time

sorry to myself ... cause I broke my promise to me .... guess promises are meant to be broken is more the rule for me  ;)

The Ambition

The call is low and far beneath,
The flowers dry up in the wreath,
The happiness is shallow and calls aloud;
To make the sun timid and a lil less proud.

New are the beginnings as shrill as a crow,
Blue bells ringing sharp in the snow,
Tomorrow is shaky and there is no brilliant blue,
Who writes this and must everything be true?

Together the sounds creep and snore,
Many are alone ,tough and gore,
Dark as now and dark as ever,
Fear is swift,now and never.

The shores awash the sins that belong.
The silence can be crisp and strong.
The moors are cold and distant;
Crooked stile creates a slanted bent.

Naked,he comes to the fore.
Every king,he is a whore .
Sell the soul for naught.
What,only this much could be bought?

Your throne is empty as you are dead.
You sleep in a rocky bed.
Killed so many, to be the best.
Left many a child ; fatherless .

Doomed for now till eternity,
Gnawing your giblets in full gritty.
How do you take what you have lost?
No grave or rolling stone, no creeping moss.

Sneer and laughter floweth galore,
I think I know so much more,
Human Hunger can kill,
Morbid Hopes can do worse more.

So think of what we can do
You of me and and me with you

Lost or Found ??

Can you lose something you didnt know existed? Yes...no...maybe...I dont know...can you repeat the question - I have answered it each way, not necessarily in that order. 

 

Finally found, but if you ask my eyes, they appear lost in yours.  I enjoy the feeling of 'losing myself'...when I look upon your eyes I dont see a reflection of myself...rather simply myself...I am there no matter where.  Maybe I was never lost, I was always there, just never close enough to look.  But then again, when I am with you, I AM lost, I dont recognize myself, but I havent changed...i am still me.  It is you - you are root of my confusion.  You are also my solution.  Without you I am just a problem, puzzled and lost; with you I am finally found. 

 

So, maybe we are all just looking to be found...or is it lost?

 

Elephant soup."

Of moon and tides

I am happy and and there is a sea in my heart right now ...the waves go higher and higher and you are the moon in the sky ....it is not a skyless night ....it was not a windy day ....it is beautiful and all that dispels grey . 

I know when you are here I can feel the sand .I like to extend my hand and touch what I cannot feel .I love to love and  that is how I live ....but I dont know if its  just enough or it will spill. The magic is weaved by Gods hands then why am I scared ..why do I fear ....what do I fear ..why am I being the enemy of me ... why do I cry with joy ....why do I relish pain ....pain is so intrinsic now it feels like  a second body .... happiness is elusive... but that is all I crave for... long for... live for ...if you look closely it is in reality, my body ....I  deserve it ... I need it ....I think I deserve me at the very least ....you are me and I am you ....that is the only fact which is true ..you complete me more than I ..so dont go away.... dont leave my hand ......let me see the world ....let me step into the beauty ..... is this what they call bliss....oh my heaven dont go away .....cannot breath without you......... even though life does go on . 

Insha Allah . 

                                                                                                       

May ....maybe ,maybe not ;)

Life is beautiful... so I say so .... I love the rhythm and pace .I can hear the music and I like what I hear. I hear what I want to..... my ipod is not sensitive like my mind yet ...it is..my mind that is ...is on a different scale altogether... more perceptive to me than I am to me .....I am enjoying the romance of life .... the beauty ,the fragrance, the anticipation and the unwrapping .... I smile for reasons I never knew I would smile at ......that is the real beauty .....I dont know what will make me happy tomorrow but I do know that I have the power to be happy.

I am passionate about you today and I may not remember you tomorrow ....wow.... and I am enjoying this life .... you get on my nerves today but I may be best pals with you tomorrrow ..it may rain tomorrow... it may not ....the world may end ...and then it may not ...I look ugly today... I may look uglier tomorrow ..who knows....I have today and that is my control ,my power... my life .

Tomorrow I may be a good mother...I may have to be a father...I dont know....I maybe so successful that I maybe very famous ..or my success maybe so different that I may not even remember my own name ... I may land on the moon ...I may not even notice the moon .. .I may marry a prince ....I may marry my prince .... call me fickle....call me lost....but that is how all of us are .....dependant on our whims /each others whims ..if none of the before applies then easily rest it as God's whims ..we may value what we have ..we value more what we may never have...we may never even feel the need to evaluate the most valuable that we may have..... cause we are living on lives ....charging ahead ...making the most for now.... assuming doing the best for tomorrow ....but do we really know when is Tomorrow ?

I am... and you are... and sure that is raison d'être for the celebration .....nonetheless I am loving it,this may ...maybe not ;)

Viva forever!!



You may like what you read here you may not

But that is all,now, for you I have got !

kEEP tHE fAITH

Detachment

period .

Love looks evasive tonight

I am always in search of love.... that has been the only everconstant factor in my life right from the time I took birth maybe till the time I breath my last... I guess... but does this search end or is it meant to be  a quest for life...I don't know am just Playing along ..... or rather Loving along .... yeah loving along sounds pretty mundane and casual .... but that is exactly all of us are doing all the time ..... we seek love from all around us ... and give love all the time ... sometimes intentional ... sometimes coincidental.... still sometimes I feel I miss love ....I have times when I tell my self tomorrow shall fulfill the lack of my love quota ...... just shut your eyes tight... girl... forget the lovelack today ...... but the void inside is not an easy child to pacify .... it wants what it wants .... no matter what or where or how ... the people keep changing... the mediums keep changing ... .. the equations keep changing ..... time keeps running without even your realization of how much... whom ... you have loved .... and  on the other hand there are times when you want the world to freeze the moment in time .... nothing could be more perfect.... you are at the most perfect equilibrium of love give an take .... you don't want anything to shake you out of your reality which is like the most beautiful reverie....its beautiful but short lived..... but that is the game love plays with all of us all the time ..  yeah ,I guess even love is Playing along with me ..... the moment I am all snug and cozy and settled  and don't want to know what's beyond my cocoon..... it wants to play hide and seek ...somebody just takes the  warm rug from below me and there I am facing the world again ..... alone and stark ..... exposed and lost ....I wouldn't say love is cruel ... it is Beautiful,Liberating ,Assuring, Exhilarating ... the closest any abstractness could get to breathing .... at times I feel I have become a greedy little girl who is so spoilt by love so much that she refuses to look at life without the rose tinted glasses .... but the glasses must go at times  and  then I am left with no vision for awhile ....

Tonight is one of the nights ..... I miss you Love .

A Dialogue

What controls my eccentricities ...what commands my zest ...or do my eccentricities control me and keep me in a check ? How can I call it a check when it only lets me lose my actual self? Or is my actual an illusion ...no not an illusion but ...but a mirror of what You are ? Do I live a bit of myself when I am crazy ? Must be...... isn't it better than stifling my worries and the worries stifling me ? Is it being flexible enough to lie between the highs and lows ?Wont I get uprooted with trunk et boughs? But more importantly how flexible are you to adjust to my flexibility ? Does your constriction come into action for me ?If no then why ? If yes then why even for you ?....... Am I concerned because you want me to be ?......do I ask something cause it is supposed to be or because it quenches the fire in me ? ....Fire quenched means a fire lost and all is dark ? Then where do I find the spark ?Oh ...my quirkiness shall give me the much needed start.... or maybe not ?

Is everything really cyclical ....what goes around comes around ? What goes around and comes around as smoothly as the letter o ? If you think I am nuts ....I will definitely think you are nuts too ? Does that makes cyclical equal to simultaneous ? Am I bridging the distance between time and space ? Then is everything the present ...everything... with you and me at ..this moment ? Why? ....Am I scared of the future and do I laugh off my past ? Have I been that bad to be scared ? Eh, no.. don't I openly and secretly want the future as much as you, to be near and there ?

When I go I wish to have more wounds on me than the count of causing hurt ..oh you never thought I'd care ? The day the world turns its back on me and so do I when I lay on my back ..... the world ceases with the ending of me ? Or do I see a shed of tear for me ?

Ah ...now that is what I would call ... Eternity ;)

Keep The Faith ,
Samina

Hi to you and me ;)

Hopes and hunger......dreams and desire .......shies and showdowns .........passive and active ....urbane and raw .......... to open up and to thaw.....to look and and to lust .....to unravel and to bust....are all the same without the pedigree of shame ...... the intensity toned down... the extremism underplayed....are all human extensions, expressions,exhibitions .... all sundry and mundane....welcome to the haven where hopes are born of a hunger ...... and hunger still does remain the same .

Samina

Keep the Faith